Heylala's Blah, Blah, Blah

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot! The world forgetting, by the world forgot. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd. No, fly me, fly me, far as pole from pole; Rise Alps between us! and whole oceans roll! Ah, come not, write not, think not once of me, Nor share one pang of all I felt for thee. An excerpt from "Eloisa to Abelard" by Alexander Pope

Friday, January 26, 2007

Rejection

Main Entry: 1re·ject Pronunciation: ri-'jekt1 a : to refuse to accept, consider, submit to, take for some purpose, or use b : to refuse to hear, receive, or admit : REBUFF, REPEL c : to refuse as lover or spouse


Just the sound of the word rejection makes something in my stomach knot up. I know first hand the pain that accompanies rejection. All of us have been rejected in some way. Anything from the rejection by a lover or family member or even a potential employer. What is it about rejection that cuts us all the way to our soul? When we are rejected we immediately began to take stock of our self worth. We wonder what is it about us that doesn’t quite measure up? Many times we try to dismiss the rejection. We cover over it with anything from humor or a coldness about us. We are angered and hurt by the one who rejects us and we may want to lash out at them. What do they know? They are the stupid ones for not picking you. Not picking me. Sometimes the pain of rejection can last for years. A person can be long gone into the grave and you still feel the pain of their rejection. There is no escaping rejection. It happens. It’s a part of life. You can’t take the chance on love without knowing that there is always the possibility that your love will be rejected in return. I have a relationship with someone who rejected me that still bothers me. I am ashamed to admit it because the situation didn’t just happen yesterday it’s been a while and I am still dealing with it. I ask myself why does this situation even after all this time still bother me? There are no easy answers. I wonder if only time heals the wound of rejection or if it is a wound that never really completely heals.

Here’s an interesting side note. I just checked my online account and had a very attractive man with beautiful blue eyes tell me that I was gorgeous and had a great smile. Immediately I thought was I really talking about feeling rejected? Hey sometimes a girl just needs to hear it. Seriously though, rejection takes time to get over. It puts a chink in our armor and can make us question our value and worth. If you have had a string of rejections you begin to really doubt yourself. It even causes you to want to shut down when it comes to relationships. Because the thing is that just getting into any type of relationship from romantic to just your normal friendship you risk rejection. For me personally I felt like last year was a series of rejections. I call it my year of things ending before they even got started. However, you learn that eventually you have to get up, dust yourself off and get back on the path again. Sometimes when you are rejected especially in romantic relationships it’s not really you it is the other person. People can get really strange about love and emotions. Sometimes their own feelings become so much for them that the only way to deal with it is to get rid of the person that is stirring those feelings up. I won’t say not to take rejection personally because it is personal, but realize also that in life you have to take some no’s that were just an ok for you to get to that amazing yes.