One Bad Apple

When I started my online dating adventure a few weeks ago my mind was open to the possibility that maybe not everyone online is creepy and possibly dating could be fun. My last blog covered the range of emotions one can feel while on this journey. However, I don’t know why but for some reason I’ve let one bad apple almost ruin the whole thing for me. Of my endless emails, phone calls, chats etc. I actually ended up having coffee with a guy. A very nice guy. A guy that was cute and what I would classify as “normal.” We had similar interests and talked for hours. Two and a half hours to be exact. Then nothing. I don’t get that. Why does that happen? Where does the communication break down? Am I missing something here? I think that the most annoying part is why does it still bother me? My gut feeling is to want to call this guy bad names and say he’s a jerk, but the truth is I don’t really think that he is. Ok, he could be and maybe I just don’t recognize them anymore. It’s hard to say. I know the thing to do is move and say next. Yet, I still wonder what happened? I suppose at this point that really it doesn’t matter, yet it would just be nice to know. Because if I did something I would be glad to apologize, learn from my mistake and move on instead of the big question mark that remains in my head about the situation. The thing is there are other guys that I could go out with, but I’m thinking for now I’m just over it. Maybe it’s time to just take my bat and ball and go home for now. Helen Keller once said that sometimes when one door closes the person spends so long looking at the closed door that they miss the other possibilities around them. There’s great wisdom in that statement. I guess the thing is that it’s just not fun anymore. It’s not winks, emails, shared interests and possibilities. It’s people being who they really are. They disappear, they don’t call you or they quit emailing. It’s real life and it’s real people which can usually be disappointing. So, you can lower your standards and at times you consider this because maybe they are too high or maybe someone tells you that you are too picky. I actually have learned some great lessons from online dating. I’ve also learned a lot about myself. There are some things that are just deal breakers and non negotiable no matter how nice some people are or how much they like you. So, I guess it’s never a waste of time if you learn something. Oh and by the way the bad apple that never emailed or called me back was in the psychology field. You would think that he would have had enough compassion for a person’s mental health to at least give them some closure. Here’s some advice. In dating relationships if you don’t think that person is for you, just tell them honestly and with tact. Because your fear of being the “bad” person and hurting someone’s feelings that makes you just disappear from them is what really makes you into the bad person.